“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” ~ Proverbs 31:10-12
For some reason I’ve yet to understand, it happens at least a couple of times each month. At some point in the night, I’ll enter a dream-like state where Dana and I have somehow become separated and there’s a sense we’ll never find one another again. So we’ve gone on about living separate lives.
In the dream, I go about my daily business, but at a point, the reality of our “separateness” overcomes me with the deepest melancholy. It could only be described as a complete, desperate emptiness. It reaches a point to that borderline place where your consciousness tells you it may be a dream, yet you can’t pull out of it, and you’re sucked back into the sadness. It’s absolutely horrible.
It inevitably evolves to a moment when I realize I’m actually in a bed, and my hand reaches across to find Dana beside me, right there where she’s always been. It’s the ultimate sigh of relief. Yes, she’s still right there.
We married six years ago today. She was previously married. So was I. That label was something neither of us ever intended. There is no good circumstance for, or about, divorce, and it’s not a thing for celebration. I’ve lost friends telling them that very thing. Don’t celebrate your divorce. We trust God’s grace over all that’s past.
I’ve known a lot of people. I’ve simply never known a better person. She loves my kids. She loves her parents, and mine. And if you’ve ever known her as a friend, you know there’s not a more loyal, dedicated or trustworthy companion.
She possesses a quality the world could use a lot more of. In any room, any circumstance, any situation, Dana is the tie that binds, the connector, the common denominator that brings people together. She exudes love and goodness through both her actions and her words. If there’s a person who better exemplifies the joyful servanthood of Jesus, I simply don’t know who it is.
As do all, we’ve experienced our circumstantial challenges. Not in our commitment to one another, but rather the things that come along in everyday life.
We’ve known the financial, social and professional difficulty that comes with closing a business. We’ve known times of depression, family loss, and uncertain outcomes to situations we’ve both created, and others we’ve been randomly handed. And we’ve known the redemptive power of the greater glory that can come from every circumstance.
In those times when one is weak, the other is strong for both. Along with a shared belief in a God who loves and cares for us, I think it’s the strength at our marriage’s foundation.
We’ve literally traveled the ends of the earth together – been as lost as two people could be. But it’s the great and humble honor of my life that I’ve never felt pressure to lavish expensive gifts on her (even though I want to), or work to put us in some categorical social standing. A wife that loves just being by your side … well, it’s a gift I’d wish on every man.
This isn’t a sermon, these are just words from my heart, but I think it bears repeating that when I see Dana, I see Jesus. I see faithfulness, virtue, humility, obedience, patience, charity and forgiveness. And I see joy, in her, and in all those who experience a relationship with her.
Together, we live this thing we call our “laughable dream.” Oh my, what a laughable dream we live.
Dana, thank you for the privilege of calling you my wife.
I loved you then. I love you now. You know I do.